Amy Sedaris in the Entertainment Weekly Photo Issue (#844/845) October 14, 2005
|Despite the photographic evidence,|
Strangers With Candy's Amy Sedaris
actually looks nothing like The
Sopranos' dearly departed Adriana.
by Michele Romero
Photographs by Gavin Bond
Who knows better how not to shoot a celebrity...than EW? 'Strangers With Candy' star Amy Sedaris acts out a few crimes we've committed against photographyand no doubt will pull off again.
Hotties as hood ornaments, bikini-clad babes waxing convertibles, country artists driving hay bales wherever it is hay bales like to go... Are these shots automobile ads, or did someone not get over his muscle-car fixation in high school? Sure, hot rods are cool, but unless you're producing a calendar, maybe it's time to consider an alternate mode of transportation. Segway, anyone?
BEFORE: THE MUG SHOT|
Poor Amy Sedaris. So haggard. So blemished. So willing to take on any freakish form. Our favorite? Jerri Blank, the 46-year-old ex-junkie/ex-con who goes back to high school in TV's Strangers With Candy (a feature-film prequel is expected to hit theaters next year). She also voices Foxy Loxy, Chicken Little's nemesis in the Disney film opening Nov. 4. So, who's the real Amy? We'll never tell.
AFTER: REMOVING VIOLATIONS|
Welcome to the Little Photoshop of Horrors. Sure, a little retouching isn't so bad: Smooth a wrinkle here, lift a droopy eye there. But overzealous digital editing has gotten out of hand, stealing the humanity from prominent faces. (That's Barbie Sedaris at leftain't she hot?!) The era of mousse has been replaced by the era of mouse, and it's getting hard to remember what real people look like.
WHITE MEN SHOULDN'T JUMP|
A wise man once sang, "Might as well jump (jump!)/Go ahead and jump." Okay, it was David Lee Roth. In 1984. Which should've been the first hint that this tired photo nugget was played out. There certainly is strength in vertical propulsion and, somehow, rebellion in the flag backdrop, but perhaps jumping has jumped the shark. (Except for our shot of Green Day on page 96. That one rocks!)
IMPERSONATING A MINOR|
Bobby socks and plaid skirts, playground swings and lollipops, teddy bears and lingerie teddies... are these Nabokovian images the collective, inappropriate fantasy of magazine editors, or just a little innocent fun? We know it's great to see a pretty woman enjoying a juvenile pastime, butespecially if her name is Britney, Courtney, or Madonnacan't we give the whole Lolita routine a rest?
Behind-the-scenes photography is always so revealing. But it's been done. As has the glamour shot of the woman who has it all, made famous by Cosmopolitan magazine's portraitist Francesco Scavullo. She has hair and makeup artists, two photo assistants, and a crafty stylist named Vicki who rigged an old pair of panty hose into a magic invisible bra. (So that's Victoria's secret! Shhh...)
(All pages) Wardrobe styling: Vicki Farrell; Hair: Jeanie Syfu/Redken NYC/Cutler/Contact; Makeup: Jim Crawford/Contact; Set Design/Props: Dino DeGuiceis/Judy Casey; (pp. 106-107) Dress: Odds; Jewelry: The Family Jewels; Shoes: Manolo Blahnik; Golf bag: Lady Golf; (p. 110) Dress: Odds; (p. 112) Clothing: Built by Wendy; (pp. 114-115) Dress: Odds; Jewelry: The Family Jewels
THE 2005 PHOTO ISSUE was written and reported by Jennifer Armstrong, Melissa Rose Bernardo, Mandi Bierly, Clarissa Cruz, Gilbert Cruz, Ryan Dombal, Leah Greenblatt, Timothy Gunatilaka, Beth Johnson, Dave Karger, Gregory Kirschling, Michelle Kung, Jeff Labrecque, Allyssa Lee, Whitney Pastorek, Joshua Rich, Missy Schwartz, Dan Snierson, Tim Stack, Alice Lee Tebo