I was in first grade, for the second time, and I accidentally ran into Bobby Sherman, who had one of those huge water heads. The teacher made me kiss him on the forehead. I'm sure he's not alive todaythey usually don't live that longbut I remember him like it was yesterday.
When I was younger, my brother David would buy me all of Barbra Streisand's records lik A Happening In Cengtral Park, and I'd spend hours listening to them, pretending to be her. I would hold a gray wig and pretend it was her dog, Sadie. I was totally obsessed until Streisand Superman came out. I felt like I'd been fooled.
My dad got us all tickets to see Al Jarreau when I was 15. It was the first time I had seen people doing sideways snakes with their heads. I still listen to his live concert CD at least once a year.
A Fure III. I bought it at a garage sale for $200 with some help from my seven-year-old brother Paul. It was missing a door and all the windows were knocked out.
FIRST TIME SHE GOT DRUNK
I was in high school, and I'd been at a party with people from my job at Red Lobster. I remember coming home, walking in the house and vomiting in front of my father.
FIRST TIME SHE FLEW FIRST CLASS
I was at Second City and some people flew me first class to Los Angeles to read for a TV pilot. I had no idea what a pilot was, and I was like, "Who wants to live in L.A.?" When I fly first class, I'm always amazed how filthy it isall the pillows and trash and papers and magazines and blankets.
I just got one two years ago because I have a rabbit and she was sick one night and it was too late to call my rabbit lady and I thought that if I'd had a computer, I could've gone online to find out if she just had gas. I got one the next day.
FIRST WORDS OF WISDOM
My mom always said, "Always have small bills on the airplane for cocktails."
FIRST HOUSE SHE BOUGHT
I don't own anything; I have one key on my key chain and I live my life like I live in a bikini.
© June/July 2006 GIANT