Welcome to
The Third Season Golden Donkey Awards

To honor the Outstanding Achievements of the cast and crew of "Strangers With Candy"

Season Three Nominees
(winners are in  bold typeface)
Outstanding Contribution by a Regularly-Featured Supporting Actress:

Maria Thayer

Deborah Rush

Sarah Thyre

Dolores Duffy

Outstanding Contribution by a Regularly-Featured Supporting Actor:

Larc Spies

Orlando Pabotoy

Outstanding Contribution by a Semi-Regularly-Featured Supporting Player:

Jack Ferver (Jimmy Tickles, "Jerri's Burning Issue")

Kelly Hutchinson (Sylvia, "Ask Jerri"), "There Once Was a Blank From Nantucket", and "The Last Temptation of Blank")

David Pasquesi (Stew, "Invisible Love" and "Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Outstanding Contribution by a Not-Regularly-Featured Supporting Actress:

Sophina Brown (Sydney, "Ask Jerri")

Natalie Blalock (Edie Harley, "Bully")

Outstanding Contribution by a Not-Regularly-Featured Supporting Actor:

Derek Richardson (Jared Westerly, "Jerri's Burning Issue")

Bernie McInerney (Dr. Zorders, "Jerri's Burning Issue")

Peter Benson (Buddah Stalin, "Is Freedom Free?")

Michael Cruz (Wendell, "Trail of Tears")

Chris Carmack (Laird, "Invisible Love")

Steve & Mark O'Donnell (the Librarians, "Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Larry Marshall (Jazzy, "There Once Was a Blank From Nantucket")

Ross Bickell (Mr. Tidbits, "Bully")

Best Celebrity Guest Appearance (Actress):

Heather Matarazzo (Renee, "Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Callie Thorne (School Nurse, "Bully")

Winona Ryder (Fran, "The Last Temptation of Blank")

Cheri Oteri (Hillary, "The Last Temptation of Blank")

Janeane Garofalo (Cassie Pines, "The Last Temptation of Blank")

Best Celebrity Guest Appearance (Actor):

Dylan Baker (Minister Arsenew, "Is Freedom Free?"

Andy Richter (The Tweetzie Railroad Indian, "Trail of Tears") and (the NutriWhiz clerk, "Blank Relay")

Will Ferrell (Bob Whitely, "Trail of Tears")

David Cross (Dr. Trepanning, "Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Paul Rudd (Brent Brooks, "The Last Temptation of Blank")

Mark McKinney (Lee, "The Last Temptation of Blank")

Best Scene:


Jerri confronts Mr. Jellineck about his cold sore, ("Jerri's Burning Issue")

Jerri writhes with joy while watching the latest Buddah Stalin video, ("Is Freedom Free?")

Jerri's inner savage emerges in Noblet's class and she scalps a student, ("Trail of Tears")

Mr. Gwinette spells out "I Love You" for Tammi with dissected animal parts, ("Invisible Love")

Jerri and Sara commiserate over their lost loves, ("Invisible Love")

Jerri visits the school library to learn about insanity, ("Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Onyx confronts Stew at Pizzamania, ("Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Mr. Noblet teaches Jerri how to type, ("Ask Jerri")

Misters Noblet and Jellineck try to get the class's attention for their eschatology presentation, but are interrupted by Fran's dramatic entrance, ("The Last Temptation of Blank")

The popular girls try to give Jerri a makeover, but her face rejects any attempted applications of beauty, ("The Last Temptation of Blank")

Hillary and Lee try to convince Onyx that he has nothing to worry about, yet their double talk reveals that they're planning on turning his school into a strip mall, ("The Last Temptation of Blank")

Best Line:

"He went down like a $10 whore." -- Jerri

Jerri: "I'm not adopted and I'm not an Indian. It's just a coincidence that I have a love of gambling and booze and a knack for catching syphilis"

Jerri: "Stew have you seen my mother?"
Stew: "Which one? Your real one, your dead one, or the one I have sex with?"

"I'm her Step-mother. Since you're so popular I wouldn't want you thinking that she slithered out of my womb." -- Sara to Fran

"Are you insane in the membrane?" -- Onyx

"Poor southerners are hilarious." -- Jerri

"It looks like two longshoremen fighting over a squirrel" -- Minister Arsenew

"I am so not jazzed." -- Jimmy T.

Best Closing Credits Dance Sequence:

"I Like My Love Anonymously" at the STD Dance, ("Jerri's Burning Issue")

Buddah Stalin's video for "The United Hates of Ascarica", ("Is Freedom Free?")

The cast dances to Loretta Lynn's 1969 tune "Your Squaw Is On The Warpath Tonight" at the Bi-Annual Turkey Pageant, ("Trail of Tears")

A little Busby Berkeley/Esther Williams style frolic in the hot tub to the tune of "I Love to Go Swimmin' With Women", ("Blank Relay")
NOTE: this old vaudeville song was used in the 1954 film "Deep In My Heart"

The ghosts of Flatpoint's past dance in the burned out hallway to the tune of Beck's "Sexxx Laws", ("The Last Temptation of Blank")

Best Director:

Juan Campanella, "Is Freedom Free?", "Trail of Tears", , "Ask Jerri", "The Last Temptation of Blank"

Peter Lauer, "Jerri's Burning Issue", "Is My Daddy Crazy?", "Invisible Love", "There Once Was a Blank From Nantucket", "Bully"

Best Lead Player:

Amy Sedaris

Paul Dinello

Stephen Colbert

Greg Hollimon

Best Episode:

"Jerri's Burning Issue"

"Is Freedom Free?"

"Trail of Tears"

"Is My Daddy Crazy?"

"Blank Relay"

"Invisible Love"

"Ask Jerri"

"There Once Was a Blank From Nantucket"


"The Last Temptation of Blank"

Special Golden Jerri for Favorite Prop(s):

Awarded to Dylan Sheridan and Teresa Mastropierro for all of the following:

Clap's Chocolate Scabies cereal and the genitalia photo cutouts, ("Jerri's Burning Issue")

Buddah Stalin's "Suck My Freedom" album and the Ball & Chain Eagle statue, ("Is Freedom Free?")

Wendell's "Jerri" totem and the photo of Jerri's birth mother, ("Trail of Tears")

Stew's self-portrait cheese sculpture and the Captain Stacks Rum bottle, ("Is My Daddy Crazy?")

Cherri and Cassie's Sticky Bunnery hats, ("The Last Temptation of Blank")

Special Golden Jerri for Favorite Extra Players:

Awarded to the Fagan Family, Troy Metcalf, Matt Blumm, Chuck Caruso, Patrick Blindauer, and Ginger Williams for all of their contributions throughout the entire run of the series.
Special Guy Blank Memorial Award for Lifetime Achievement:

Awarded to Greg Hollimon for his commanding performance as Flatpoint High's stentorian dictator, Principal Onyx Blackman.

Go back to the Season One Golden Donkey AwardsGo to the Season Two Golden Donkey AwardsGo to the Season Three Golden Donkey Awards

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