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On this "painfully special" episode of
Strangers With Candy

    Jerri seduces her new virgin boyfriend, Jared Westerly, by telling him that it's her first time, too. The next day at school the happy couple is chosen by Mr. Jellineck to be Lord and Lady of the upcoming dance. As Lady of the Dance, it's Jerri's job, with the help of her court, to come up with the dance's theme. She suggests a few different possible settings: crack house, back alley, prison yard, back of a cab.
    Jerri soon learns from a former sexual partner -- a foreign cab driver -- that she has been exposed to syphilis. This couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time because the dance theme that was decided upon happens to be "Purity".
    At the STD clinic, where Iris Puffybush moonlights as a nurse, Dr. Zorders tells Jerri that her syphilis is infested with crabs and that the crabs are carrying gonorrhea. He instructs her to notify all of her recent sexual partners, but Jerri can't bring herself to tell Jared because of her lie about him having been her "first". Actually, she didn't really lie. It really was her first time... with him.
    Misters Jellineck and Noblet are sporting nice big cold sores of their own, too. Jerri teases Jellineck about his canker, but he insists that he just bumped his lip on a biscuit.
    Tammi Littlenut advises Jerri to tell Jared the truth so he can be treated for his infection, but she refuses. When Jerri goes to Principal Blackman for advice he deviously switches on his intercom microphone, unbeknownst to Jerri, and tells her to repeat her dilemma. Jared and the entire student body learn of Jerri's shame through Blackman's ruthless cunning. Of course Jared is humiliated and hurt by the news, and the means of its delivery.
    When Jerri learns from Dr. Zorders that her level of infection makes her a one-in-a-million case, she decides to embrace her disgrace and she proposes that they change the theme of the dance. Jerri, Tammi, Jimmy Tickles, and Geoffrey discard the "Purity Dance" plans and put together an "STD Dance", with the slogan "Get Infected".
    When the night of the dance arrives Jerri is alone on stage, sitting on her toilet throne, a Lady without her Lord. The party is a success and eventually Jared arrives, but it's not clear whether he has forgiven Jerri or not, because his untreated syphilis has already attacked his brain. Jerri chooses to assume that he has forgiven her. Whatever lets her sleep at night...

Winner of the Season Three Golden Donkey Award
for "Outstanding Contribution by a
Semi-Regularly-Featured Supporting Player"
[ Jack Ferver ]

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Episode Title: "Jerri's Burning Issue"

Tony's Rating:

Original Airdate: 7/10/00

Production Number: 3-01

Directed by: Peter Lauer

Writers: Paul Dinello, Amy Sedaris
Additional Writer: Matt Lappin

Regular Cast: AS, DD, DR, GH, LS, MT, PD, SC

Guest Cast:  Jack Ferver (Jimmy Tickles), Bernie McInerney (Dr. Zorders), Derek Richardson (Jared Westerly), Sanjiv Jhaveri (Cab Driver), Joe Culliton (Doctor in STD film), Trent Kendall (Singer at the STD Dance), Justin Daniel (Casper)

Extra, Extra:
· The Fagan kids can be seen as the band in the background at the STD Dance.
· Victor Mastroianni can be seen in the hallway behind Derek Richardson (Jared) when Blackman tricks Jerri into confessing into hte P.A. system.

Flatpoint Lexicon:

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Additional Episode Information

  A license plate (GENI-2LWRT) was created for the cab driver's taxi, but wasn't shown. At the top of the plate are the words, "The Contagious State".
· In the breakfast scene at the Blank house Derrick wears a Sedaris Hardwood Floors T-shirt. Amy's brother Paul, aka the Rooster, owns and operates Sedaris Hardwood Floors in the Raleigh, North Carolina, area.
· Jellineck has a copy of "My Body, Myself", which is probably the egotist's version of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" by the Boston Women's Health Book Collective.
· The animated characters in the STD film at the clinic were Syphy, Aidsy, Herpy, Crabby, and Ghonny.

On The 'Flatpoint High School' Sign:  "LUNCH TODAY -- CRAB SALAD"

The Best Things In This Episode:
· After Jerri leaves Dr. Zorders's office the diagram of the male genital cross-section comes loose and swings down into the female cross-section diagram.
· The genitalia cutouts at the dance.
· Jellineck and Noblet's growing cold sores.
· Jellineck's phallic sculpture.
· Clap's Chocolate Scabies cereal, yum yummmm.
· The homofication of Jimmy Tickles.

Closing Credits Dance Sequence:  The final scene at the dance segues right into the song, "I Like My Love Anonymously".

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