My Original Story Ideas
J.Q. Test
(Jerri Quotient)

Even Frankenfag could have passed that first quiz. Can you handle this one?
What's your J.Q., ya pussy?

To find the answers, click here.  Good luck, scrote lick!  You're gonna need it.

1. In episode 1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", how many times did Derrick hit the paddle ball?

2. In episode 1-02, "A Burden's Burden", in which Flatpoint motel did Jerri book a room so that she and Tammi Littlenut could focus on what makes them click?
A $2 an hour room in the Super 69 Motel
A $19-plus-tax room at the Flatpoint Acres Motel
The $37 "Midnight Special" at the Horizon Motel
The $49.99 suite at the Second-Best Western

3. The license plate on Jellineck's AMC Pacer in episode 2-01, "Yes You Can't" said...

4. In episode 1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", we learned that Jerri's middle name is...

5. In episode 1-06, "Jerri Is Only Skin Deep", Sara said that the accomplishments that helped her to win her Homecoming Queen crown, beyond the obvious, were collecting green stamps for the terminally ill and giving the donkey a record toss of...
4½ feet
3.7 yards
6¼ feet
9' 2"

6. In episode 1-08 "Feather in the Storm", after Jerri broke up Onyx and Carne's fondue lovemaking, what did she say Blackman's office smelled like?
2-week-old shrimp jambalaya
a tuna boat in the hot summer sun
a seafood paella
low tide

7. In episodes 2-04, "The Goodbye Guy", and 2-05, "Hit and Run", what was the license plate number on the Blanks' cars?

8. In episode 2-07, "To Love, Honor, and Pretend", a record 18 hands went up in Coach Wolf's class after her discussion about...
golden showers

9. In episode 2-07, "To Love, Honor, and Pretend", what did Noblet give to Jellineck as a "wedding" present?
a charm bracelet
a condom
homemade beef jerky
a framed Bible passage, Leviticus 20
a buck knife

10. In episode 1-01, "Old Habits, New Beginnings", Noblet warned Jerri that if her grades didn't improve she was in danger of failing his class. She found this surprising because it was only which day of the school year?

11. At Jerri's "Poppy Downes Memorial Party" in episode 1-01, "Old Habits, New Beginnings", who are two of the attendees who had sampled the hot fruit?
Amber and Paul
Trudy and Trish
Shannon Tudyk and Daniel
Dawson and Teddy
Susie and Stone

12. In episode 1-02, "A Burden's Burden", how much did Jerri say that Dizzy would be worth on the black market if his eyes stayed blue?
70 G's
90 G's

13. In episode 2-01, "Yes, You Can't", what was the name of Jellineck's landlord?
Mr. Khaled
Mr. Patel
Mr. Singh
Mr. Pinatubo
Mr. Ahmed

14. In episode 1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", Sara told Guy that he forgot his cassette player on what piece of equipment at his health club?
the Nut Cruncher
the Ass Blaster
the Ball Buster
the Ab Master
the Bun Burner

15. In episode 1-09, "To Be Young, Gifted, and Blank", what was Jerri's violin made of?
bathtub grout
particle board and duct tape
dry wall

16. In episode 1-10, "The Trip Back", on Jerri's final exam for Noblet's class what was her answer to the question "What is the Magna Carta?"
a handgun
a credit card
a Gabor sister
Planet Zoot
she traced her hand to make a turkey

17. In episode 2-02, "Behind Blank Eyes", where did Alan's family live before moving to Flatpoint?
Morehead City
Mt. Valley

18. In episode 2-01, "Yes You Can't", what kind of kiln did Jellineck have?
ThermaCraft 2000
Vesuvius 2000
Clay-o-Matic 3000
Vulcan's Forge 3000
ThermaFlare 5000
ClayMaster 5000

19. In episode 2-04, "The Goodbye Guy", Jerri told a story during Noblet's Clown Class about a clown that was sliced in two. What was the clown's name?

20. In episode 2-07, "To Love, Honor, and Pretend", which Madam Precious doll did Chuck suspect that his son Seamus had been playing with?
the English Au Pair
the French Whore
the Italian Befana
the Swiss Watch Maker
the Israeli Diamond Merchant
the Peruvian Shepherd

Tony's "Jerri Quotient" Test. What's your J.Q.?
© 2000 by Antonio Lopes Lagarto IV.

Java Quiz script courtesy of The JavaScript Source

Take the "Strangers With Candy" Final Exam
Take the 'Strangers With Candy' Final Exam


  1. Derrick hit the paddle ball "37 times".
  2. Jerri secured a "$37 Midnight Special at the Horizon Motel".
  3. The license plate on Jellineck's Pacer said "R-TIST".
  4. Jerri's middle name is "Antonia". Amy Sedaris has said that when she created her character for "The Way After School Special" (as "Strangers With Candy" was originally going to be entitled) she was to be named "Jerri" or "Toni", so "Geraldine Antonia" includes both choices.
  5. Sara gave the Donkey a record "4½ foot toss".
  6. Jerri said that the office smelled like "a seafood paella".
  7. Even though the Blanks had two different cars in these episodes, their license plate for both vehicles was the same: "79-69SDH".
  8. Coach Wolf was discussing "trowelling". Did she try this on Carlos, the pizza guy? That would explain the lovely plastic flowers he sent the next day.
  9. Noblet gave Jellineck "a buck knife" for their upcoming weekend together. Cherri gave Geoffrey a charm bracelet later. Chuck made homemade jerky, but didn't get the chance to share it. Chuck later read a passage from Leviticus 20 at dinner, but did not have it framed. No condoms were harmed during the filming of this episode.
  10. Noblet could see that Jerri was in danger of failing his class by "the third day" of the school year.
  11. "Amber" remarked that the hot fruit made her lips numb, while "Paul" had already departed on his little "trip" and planned on taking Shelly with him.
  12. Dizzy was worth about 70 G's on the black market, but twice that ("$140,000") if the eyes stayed blue.
  13. "Mr. Singh" came looking for the rent money, but didn't appreciate the potential value of Jellineck's self portrait. "Crumple, crumple, crumple."
  14. Guy left his cassette player on "the Ass Blaster".
  15. Noblet kept his grandfather's violin for himself and gave one made of "dry wall" to Jerri.
  16. Jerri's response was "Planet Zoot". The hand-traced turkey was in response to the question, "What was the capital of France during the Nazi Occupation?"
  17. Alan was from "Morehead City". In his book Me Talk Pretty One Day, Amy's brother David mentions a North Carolina summer resort town called Morehead City where the Sedarises spent some family vacations.
  18. Jellineck tried to get reimbursement for his purchase of a "ThermaFlare 5000", but Principal Blackman told him that he could "take it with". We later see Jellineck using the kiln in episode 2-10, "A Price Too High For Riches", to fire up his students' origami projects, and in episode 3-01, "Jerri's Burning Issue", to bake his phallic tribute to Pompeiian art.
  19. "Bongles" is probably the most tragic clown ever mentioned on television, with the possible exception of Chuckles the Clown from The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Ronald McDonald, the mass murderer of adorable cows.
  20. Chuck suspects that the "Peruvian Shepherd" has been tampered with. Doesn't Seamus know that his father's toys are not playthings?