Amy Sedaris being interviewed by Stephen Colbert on
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" (without Jon Stewart)
April 3, 2001
Stephen Colbert: Tonight's guest costarred with none other than Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central's groundbreaking "Strangers With Candy", a show some critics have hailed as, "extremely canceled." Now she's starring here in New York off-Broadway in The Book of Liz. Please welcome Amy Sedaris. How are you?
Amy Sedaris: Hi, I'm good.
SC: Um, wow, you look great.
AS: Thank you very much.
SC: You look fabulous. You are a knockout.
AS: Thanks a lot. You don't think it's too cold to wear a little tank top?
SC: Not at all.
AS: Should I sit back?
SC: Sure. Relax. Enjoy yourself. [intentionally awkward pause] And I guess I look good too. Thank you.
AS: Whatever you need to tell yourself.
SC: Did you ever imagine that you and I'd be able to sit down together like this without screaming at each other?
AS: Oh, I never really thought about it like that.
SC: I should probably tell the audience, um, some of you may know this if you read the trades, but Amy and I... have history. I guess there's no other polite word for it than, uh, we were lovers...
AS: friends... [pause] Oh, no. We...
AS: Well, we went on a couple dates.
SC: I just want to make sure... Is this weird for you?
AS: No. No, this is great.
SC: I don't want it to be weird.
AS: It's not weird at all. I mean, no...
SC: It's not weird for me.
AS: O.K., it's not weird for me either.
SC: I love having you on here.
AS: It's great to be here.
SC: O.K., so let's just put it in the past.
AS: Yeah, yeah.
SC: Let's talk about your play.
SC: Are you seeing anybody?
AS: You mean, the character I play in the play? Is she seeing anybody?
SC: Sure, sure, the character.
AS: Um, no, she's not. It's not really about that. Yeah.
SC: What's it about? Go ahead.
AS: Well, uh, it's an older woman, she works in this parish, and she makes cheese balls. And she feels that she's not being appreciated, so she leaves the parish and goes on this journey. And then she ends up back at the parish and...
SC: O.K., let me ask you a little question about acting.
SC: Um, a lot of actresses feel that they have to put some of themself into the part, like some essential true part of themselves in there...
AS: I've heard that.
SC: Is there something true about you you have to put in? For instance, is this character a liar? [audience laughter] I mean, I guess what I'm asking is, does this character lead men on in relationships, to the point where they feel that something is happening that evidently was not happening, and then they, uh, they drop this bomb on him when they're waiting in line to buy movie tickets, and he can't really respond or cry because it's a public place... Does your character do that?
AS: Stephen, that was six years ago. It was a long time ago. Right?
SC: Answer the question!
AS: This is the answer. You're getting really weird.
SC: I knew this would be weird for you.
AS: You're making it weird! What are you talking about!?
SC: I'm not making anything weird!
AS: Why are you asking me stuff like that!?
SC: Fine! We won't... Just forget the interview. Forget it. Let's move on to the next segment. Let's just do it. It's just a little segment...
SC: Well... Move on.
AS: Yeah, let's move on. [brightening] Hey!
SC: This is a little segment that we do with all our guests and it's called, "What's your new phone number?"
AS: Stephen, I changed my number for a reason, and I know you know why.
SC: Just play... Just play the game.
AS: If I gave you my number I'd have do change it again. Do you know what I'm saying?
SC: Let's play a new game. It's called, "Who's this Ricky guy?" Who's this Ricky guy I saw coming out of your house at 7:35 this morning? You want to answer that question? Miss No-Bra Slutville...
AS: Let me tell you something, you're acting really weird. This was obviously a mistake. Where's Jon? Jon? Is Jon around?
SC: Jon'll be back, O.K.?
AS: When will he be back? This is clearly a mistake. You're acting crazy.
SC: Mmmm-hmmm... Am I?
AS: Yeah, you're acting crazy. What's wrong with you? I mean, you're married. You have two kids.
SC: Does that bug you, that I'm married?
AS: Does it bug me? No! Oh, my God, you're crazy! [pause] What? Why are you pointing at me? Could somebody come up here and help me, please?
SC: Let me tell you something.
AS: Yeah, why don't you tell me something...
SC: You don't get to end this one. I'm the host. I end this one. [to the audience, cheerily] Amy Sedaris, everybody.