This Valentine’s Day, don’t ply your love with rose petals and tinsel-wrapped chocolates. Instead, take a page from my personal cookbook and whip up this hyper-realist fake cake. The confection makes a great gift for anybody—even diabetics and dieters can enjoy the sweet gag. Put it in a pink bakery box or leave it on a windowsill to lure friends in. Then hand them a saw.
- 2 cups ultra-lightweight spackle
- 1 cup dry plaster of paris
- 3 tbsps water (plus more)
- 8″ round x 4″ high styrofoam cake form (hatboxes work well)
- Glossy latex paint
- Excelsior (optional)
- Kitchen timer
- Small bucket
- 10″ frosting knife
- Set your timer for 15 minutes (that’s how long you have before the “icing” sets, so you need to work fast).
- In a small bucket, mix the spackle, plaster of paris, and water using the frosting knife. Start with three tablespoons of water and continue adding more until you reach a smooth consistency. The icing should be light and fluffy, and not too wet or blobby.
- Starting with the sides first—and using a liberal hand—frost the cake form.
- Let it set overnight.
- The next day, when the icing is dry to the touch, paint the cake (see tip).
- Give to sweet-toothed friends.
TIP: Use brown paint for chocolate, yellow for lemon, green for pistachio, or cream for French vanilla. For toasted-coconut shavings, add cut-up pieces of excelsior to the wet paint.